The simplest way to connect more with people in every day life
How many times a day are you asked: “How are you?”
Unless you are a hermit (and no judgment if you are, as an introvert I totally have my hermit days!), you are probably asked this question at least once, possibly several times a day.
But do you actually answer the question?
Or do you answer it with a variation of…
“Life is good.”
“Just fine, thanks!”
*raises hand* I answer with those ALL the time! We all do!
It’s such a socially acceptable standard to answer with a non-answer, because well, often times it’s not really a question so much as a default intro dance of social engagement. It also takes effort to actually check-in and answer authentically. And, let’s be honest, sometimes we don’t even really want to answer it! So, we give the typical answers.
I LOVE becoming curious about things like this and giving myself experiments to shake things up in a fun way.
That’s why I decided for a week, I was only going to answer with real answers. I did this both online and offline. Yes, it took me a few extra moments to respond, and yes, I had to be more self-aware, but then I began answering with responses like…
“I’m marinating for a big roast.”
“I’m feeling ALIVE right now!”
or even, “I woke up with some doubts in life, so I’m being gentle with myself today.”
The results were amazing! What started as a typical question, immediately switched to an intrigue to hear more and the connection skyrocketed because then they felt ok to respond in a more truthful way as well.
There were a few people who were caught off guard a bit and weren’t entirely sure how to respond. So, in that case, I would often follow-up by saying something to reassure them I wasn’t looking for them to solve anything or do anything with my response, but it was a practice to really be wherever I’m at and share this with others. This would ease their innate response of confusion by taking the pressure off.
So… I invite you to give it a try this week!
Who is up for fostering connection by simply answering the questions people already ask us each day with a bit more truth??!?!
Whenever someone asks, “how are you?” take an extra moment to consider how ARE you feeling right now?
If that sounds too rushed and you want a bit more time to think about it first, it’s totally ok to take a moment before meeting someone or even first thing in the morning do a check-in and come up with an answer in case you can’t think of anything in the moment.
This is meant to be fun and freeing, not weigh you down with “one more thing you have to do.”
And, if you’re not wanting to respond fully because you’re struggling or there’s a particular person who wouldn’t receive it well, that is ok too!
The key here is that you can choose.
If you want to keep your feelings to yourself, you can choose not to share them.
If you want more connection, you can choose to open and create that connection.
It’s ALL up to you!
Feel free to share your experiences this week in the comments below and let us know how ARE you feeling???