Oh, Love

The love letter I sent last week seems to have struck a chord.

I get it. There’s a LOT tangled up in love.

We all have endless stories of joy and pain when it comes to love.

For the longest time, I was really confused and lost about love. I questioned:
What is it?
When do I feel it?
What are the different varieties?
What do I “do” with love I feel? With love others share with me?

I easily got swept up into other people’s love. Being highly sensitive, I was extra sensitive to how they felt and often wouldn’t be able to separate what was mine and what was theirs.

​It was all just too much, so I guarded my love. It was rare that anyone made it beyond my fortress of protection.

5 years ago, I began to see: love is always there. Underneath the protection. Underneath the fear. Underneath it all… at the essence, we are pure. Love.
If you have any doubts, just watch a baby for a little while.

I realized I’d been waiting for love to arrive, but was going in circles because I was looking for something that already was.

​Whether it’s looking for love amidst a tangible possession, achievement, or a romantic connection, in their own way, I also saw everyone else looking for love to arrive.

As deep as the desire for love, there also is the terror of not being loved. Or worse, not being lovable.

Now, I have incredibly vulnerable conversations each week and I am honored to hear people’s deepest fears. Guess what… they’re often the same fears.

A fear of not being enough.

Which is really just a deficit of love.
The good news?
Love is always there, underneath the fear.

We think if we face a fear, we need to “do” something extra. Do more. Be more.

But, because the love is underneath the fear, “more” is only just covering up the love.

That’s why I guide people into their fear – not away. Talking with it. Letting it know it’s ok. And, to even thank it for protecting the precious love underneath. When the fear feels seen and accepted, it can relax. It can stop protecting the love so fiercely and let the love be seen and felt.

So, the next time you feel fear or a lack of love, just remember and trust:

QT16: Love is inside of you, always.