Do you ever feel like people don’t understand you?
Like you have this secret inner world that no one else can see.
You literally feel like you don’t fit anywhere.
And, you’ve tried to share those hidden parts in tiny ways, yet they’re only met with judgement.
Maybe it was even flipped around back at you.
What you had meant to be an intimate sharing was used to make fun of you.
So, we’re left alone feeling completely shut out from the world.
Feeling like no one understands us.
No one really talks about this.
They say… “Just be yourself.”
But, what does that even mean?
You ARE trying to be yourself.
A part of being who you are is connecting and belonging. Not that you need to “fit into a box” and identically be like everyone else, but we have a biological need to connect.
It’s a real part of “being yourself” that is squashed when we try to layer a mask over our ego.
“Oh, I don’t need them to understand me.”
“I am who I am, and they can like me or not.”
Yes, we can get there at some point, but it’s not the first step. We’re skipping the necessary parts in between.
Instead of a protective reaction, it becomes a natural feeling when you really DO find deep connection within yourself and others.
When you have true experiences of sharing and connecting with others, then it becomes, “Oh, they’re just not my people.”
You focus on people you connect with vs. shutting everyone out and pretending to be ok with that.
So how do you find people who understand you?
I actually think that’s not the full question to ask.
You are a dynamic, complex individual. You probably don’t even fully understand yourself.
I know I don’t and I’m not sure I ever will!
But, I do believe you can continually learn about yourself + others.
The key is to find people who appreciate and see your value.
There are a few ingredients for this to happen:
1. Atmosphere: an environment that is open and supportive. Not that it’s a bunch of positivity cheerleaders, but that there is warmth and receptivity vs. negativity and a “fixing” mentality.
2. Vulnerability: there is a difference between being open and being vulnerable. Being present vs. being fully engaged emotionally. You will feel the difference when it is the latter.
3. Trust: even if you’re terrified, even if you don’t trust at this moment, there has to be a leap. A leap outside of your shell, your comfort zone. A leap so that trust can find it’s way to you.
So, here goes. Today, every day, I take another breath, another step, a leap into what scares me the most.
Who will leap with me?
Share your leap in the comments below. What scares you the most right now and how will you take a leap?
UPDATE: Surprisingly, this post has gotten over 30 comments. What is most fascinating about this is how similar we all feel, yet we also feel like we’re the only one. These comments are another piece of evidence for what I’ve discovered in my own life, the more I open up about these topics, the more connected and understood I feel. Yes, there are people out there who don’t get it, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t others who DO get it. If you’re looking for someone who gets it… look through the comments. You’re not alone! <3 Christina.
Thank you for something new – I love the term “fixing” mentality because THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED WITH. I’ve always hated the negative energy that emanates from certain family members (most of them) and some friends. All I knew in recent years was that I needed to get away from that crap! But you’ve really hit a chord with me…that part of the negativity from my mother and my family is this constant barrage of things I need to do to be better, to look better, to get better. Thank you!!!!
I’m not quite sure what my leap is. I currently seem to be in a place of retreat (where I’ve made progress a few months ago but now I’m back into taking a step back and I need to take another two steps forward).
Jenn, those are all really important realizations. And, I think intentionally being in a place of retreat can be a leap. Leaping doesn’t necessarily mean action. Sometimes the leap is to pause and reflect for a moment. The key is to be aware and intentional. Instead of putting on false blinders, to show up fully wherever you’re at.
I don’t know what I can add to that really, I can relate to most – if not all of it.
I’m at a point where I seem to have tried most of what have appealed to me, and while I am at peace with myself, I’d like some more like-minded people in my life
I’m not sure where my leap is either or in which area; physical or spiritual, mental, emotional. Even those categories have sub-headings… I wish I could say MOVE, but it’s not that easy when you’re not single, not the main breadwinner and your partner has child-support to cover, and you don’t know where to… somewhere there are some of like mind to make friends with… and less cr@p. By that I mean availability of food without gmo’s, flour, aspartame etc.
Finding work here … is an ongoing challenge. I feel too skilled, multi talented, and educated to want to clean for a dollar an hour. The language barrier does not help either. I wish I could find online work but have exhausted any and all leads. So I have been pondering what skills are in demand and apart from honest and skilled mechanic and ditto computer technician, of which I am neither.
I guess my best shot is publishing my book (7 July). Talk about feeling excited and vulnerable all rolled into one. Let’s hope some of that non judging support finds me around the same time.
I guess i could sum that up as
“I wish that once in my life I was seen and appreciated for what I am, rather than told (by people who do not even know me) what I’m not. Told what I “should” change, that I need “toughening up”, be more extroverted; don’t worry just talk; just this, just that”.
Feeling a bit downbeat and defeated tonight, sigh.
Yeah maybe i got a problem coz one i don’t like the people I don’t talk with them though they are my colleague I don’t really care .
I’m told I exhaust people with my over analysing mind. I honestly see what they are talking about but I don’t understand it. I have a problem with understanding things simply, I guess is the best way to explain it. I hear what people say but I also need to know why they are saying it and what makes them feel like they need to say it etc etc and it leads to a ridiculous amount of information that I feel like I need in order to understand and process what they are saying. I feel like if I don’t understand then I don’t know how to respond, react, how to even be really and I wind up confused. Does anyone know what causes this? What my issue is because it honestly drives everyone crazy including myself. They say I need to just take it as it is and let it go. It’s not that simple for me. I will get sick to my stomach, get a headache, and feel overwhelmingly stressed out until I get to a place where I feel I understand and sometimes all it takes for me to be calmed is by speaking what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling which too can go into a ridiculous amount of information which seems to upset everyone too as well as what I had to say. In some cases I feel so strongly about something and it’s bothering me because I don’t like it so I look to others to help me maybe understand it differently but I feel like I always have a valid disputing question until they get to a point they don’t want to talk with me anymore so I’m still feeling like I’m right when I don’t want to be and they seem to perceive me at that point as always believing I’m right with a my way or the highway attitude. I genuinely don’t feel I’m that that way but I do understand why they would think that and I can’t seem to get to a place of understanding with them. I know I’m not dumb person but I have honestly thought maybe I have some kind of disability that makes me this way. I have a a lot of people who love me but do not like me because I’m this way. I don’t know where to go with this and how to fix my relationships this way. Its very frustrating because I also feel like it’s beneficial in some ways. Is it simply anxiety?
i totally agree with your statement
From you explanation of yourself, I have a few ideas that might explain your mind and your thoughts, note this is preliminary as I have not talked or verified any of theses aspects with you.
1. You seem to be extremely curious about the inner working of things and always want get to the bottom of things. This is not just in the complex but also the simple. “how did this come to be” “How does his work” etc.
This is not bad as curiosity and a search for knowledge can lead you to many questions that people overlooked or get to the roots of complex issues. I wont deny I think similarly and people can find it overbearing but sometimes the insight you give for “diving in” can really help. I struggle with expressing my thoughts and the fear the pressure can scare others away. But I wont deny at times it has really helped people I cared for and brought about some amazing solutions.
2. You appear to doubt your thoughts, there merit and how they fit in. I will say trying to be sure and learning all there is is not inherently bad or there is anything inherently wrong with you. Though it honestly may be very hard to accept the challenges that come with it. I am sorry on this regard, since I still to am dealing with it and cant give you a good solution or place to look. All I can say is, a dear friend of mine recently helped me accept more of this to myself. I wish you can find someone or something to help you deal with it as well.
Hope this helps, if you feel it really resonated with you, you can reach out to me. Not sure how the setup goes with replies and notification but if I get it or when I look back and find your response, I will try to help out if I can.
Hi Jena,
My mind works this way as well. I am very hard working – to a fault – and ask question after question, which annoys my peers. My romantic relationships don’t work out because after a while, I drive them crazy with my poking, prodding, questions, and need to know. It’s seen as a form of control. It hurts me in jobs because others can not understand why i would work so tirelessly, and care so much. Not only that, it feels as though i am emotionally removed (because i am) when i am asking questions and solving problems. So, since I am good at my job, and am given huge work loads, I’m always thinking and therefore, don’t connect with my colleagues. I have lost jobs for simply ‘not fitting in’ or because bosses feel that i am a threat to them because i’m not sucking up (even though i do anything that they ask!) and because i don’t go out and socialize, etc. I’m incredibly misunderstood. My mind is stuck on problem solving and analysis when i’m in that mode. When i’m on socializing mode, then i’m quite sociable and am great at talking and dancing and having fun.
I am diagnosed ADHD. I don’t know if this is a normal thought pattern for adhd. This disorder is related to OCD. I know that I am intelligent – I’ve always scored very high on aptitude tests etc. But I don’t know exactly how smart that is in comparison with many others, or how many others minds’ work, because i’m not privy to the inner workings of many people. Especially the intelligent people, who are guarded, and seem to understand that one should NOT EVER share their innermost thoughts. I’ve all but resolved to do the same, but i still stand out as ‘weird’ and feel misunderstood due to the behaviors that you’ve outlined – EXACTLY. I think it’s fair to say that the questions and analysis are part of the fact gathering / knowledge insights that we assume will lead us to a place of control of the situation, which is supposed to ‘settle’ the mind. However, it doesn’t usually work that way, since people are not computers and are not a means to an end – and so the answers can often be wrong, or lies, or even manipulation. And that sets us down a whole other path…
I would like to exchange contact info with you if that is possible. Take care!
All I can say is Yes, a giant emphatic “Yes!” Having the desire to know more, being able to see things clearly that others can not, being able to manage chaos and make sense of what drives most others mad (because it’s overwhelming for them). What’s overwhelming for me is feeling left out – where do I belong, are there others like me? I work tirelessly to demonstrate the “right” behaviors, to fit in so as to avoid the challenging discussions (Smartest person in the room syndrome) because despite the numerous times I control myself there’s the one time where I unwittingly “expose” myself. I think I’m actually helping resolve a problem or highlight a better way and I only come to learn that others feel stupid/threatened/some other negative response to what I said. All my “good behavior” is for naught (or nought for any Brits).
People react negatively to us because they don’t know what to do with us and, should they have self-confidence issues, they often attack and ridicule us because of how we inadvertently bring attention to their weaknesses and insecurities. We are trying to help and in our effort we become a threat to exposing them.
I feel better writing and reading this – It’s nice to see I’m not alone.
This is so me… and more… i feel alone like no one even listen nor reads my txt that i send. Misunderstood, even when i truly am trying to help. Even my kids are starting I feel, to Ignore me and what I say. I think they are disrespecting and dont appreciate all the things I do. And I do a lot. I am the MacGyver of women. I think. And try to be there. But yet they seem not to beleive in me. I do admit to not knowing if i dont. Im trying to stay positive. And bring on a new way of thinking, and being. I started yoga and meditation. I read people well. And usually right on. But yet my friends never listen or believe in me and what I know. I remember crazy weird and a lot of everything. So if I say I’ll do something I do my best to follow thru. And don’t understand why friends/family can’t do the same. Do they really foget? Right know i in a world wind of crap. Even though I thought I was helping and suggesting things that might could help. Yet I’m the one who doesn’t get it? I told.And maybe I dont. But why if were supposed to be good friends. Am I always told I involed myself. Even when I promise I didn’t they involed me. yet I’m at fault. . I’m lost and alone with no one wanting to really listen or ask me in 15yrs friends or family. What i feel or what I’m going through. Or what I done where I’ve been in my life. I have even saidad written down in letters, exactly what I wanted. And still nothing. And then told I’m being crazy or overreacting.. I try to tell storys, experience and most of the time get stopped or interupted. And never get to finish. Why?? What is it? Truly feeling empty.
“ohh i dont need them to understand me “i use thsi quote when i am offended ,and for using the quote i still get offended?yy is life full of depression with people who dont understand ur perspective
I couldn’t agree more to this. You see it’s the barriers,people stopping you from being yourself but at the end of day you really shouldn’t care about that. It’s your own goddamn life. Revel in!
I just wish my mum would see the my little brother is mean to me even when we’re playing. I think my mum didn’t want me and that’s why I want to sit in my room every night because no one talks to me, asks me how my day was, they just sit and ignore me. Sometimes i just feel like the help. And better yet my Best Friend doesn’t understand me either. I hate my life and can’t wait to mive out!
I, like many others, feel just the same. My brother is mean and favouritised (not a word but I just created it) by my mother and I am forever alone in my room playing video games, reading a book, watching YouTube or searching things on an incognito tab on Google such as this one so that no one can see what I am going through, just to escape the complicated world I will never understand. I live hours away from anyone I know and further from my few friends and acquaintances, ones which I’m unsure if I stick by them because of who they are or what they are into. I rarely see anyone in the School holidays (these total upto almost a third of my year not including weekends as I go to a private school where the dreaded holidays last forever) and I endlessly hear how others have travelled on holiday to other countries whereas I am usually stuck at home half wishing I was as wealthy as they are, as I am not. Alike, I am scared and excited for my own life where I will find more challenges and create more excuses to stay in my comfort zone. The only person who I can freely talk to and understands me is my cousin who I see once a year if I go on holiday to where my father’s family live. Nethertheless, I wish anyone in the same predicament as me good luck.
move**
yeeeeeeeeeeeeea, ive got nothing to leap 2, end of story.
But when will I find “my kind of people”? It so lonely and I don’t know how long I can do this.
I completely agree with you. I’ve tried – at least I think I’ve tried – leaping or whatever but it’s hard when you go to the same school everyday and it’s not like you can meet new people there. And I don’t know if I’m just an ungrateful person that doesn’t kniw how to cherish the friends I have right now but they just don’t click with me. I don’t know how to explain it.
And I also seem to be losing interest in everything. I still move around all day, but it’s not like there’s anything I actually want to do.
I always think that there is something unlikeable about me that makes people hate me. I can’t figure it out myself, maybe because I’m too awkward, or maybe because of my tardiness, or maybe because I look arrogant to some people. I’ve always wanted people to understand and accept me the way I just am, and as a result, I often ended up talking a lot about myself up to the point where it becomes annoying. Who knows? Maybe I am self centered, maybe I am an egoist ; Maybe there’s just something about me that makes me unlikeable. If someone here can tell me what’s wrong with me, please tell me. I wanted to know about it, and I wanted to see what I can do to fix it.
I like your page. It feels refreshing.
The most annoying thing in people is when they don;t see the value when we (well I, but it’s easier to say “we”) tell them about our emotions, how we feel, what bother us. They don’t see that it’s not easy to open. And it usually gets harder every time we encounter such behaviour. It’s not that we don’t know how to deal with the feedback but the quality of the feedback is poor. I (oh finally he said “I”) don’t want to hear something I know already, what psychology says, what research says, what our grannies used to do to “get better”. I know all of this and I know what supposed to be good for me. Yet sometimes I feel down, lonely and misunderstood. Then the emotions – chemical imbalance can be controlled by exercise, diet, positive approach but meh, sometimes I get caught off guard. Poker face is tiring as well. People ask “how you doing” without wanting to hear how I am actually doing, that there are little things that overwhelm me. Yet I don’t feel overwhelm. I just feel tired of shallow people around me. Why is that everyone is either dry, cold without really trying to understand other person. They just hear a problem and trying to tell me what to do. Not many people actually asked me what I would like to do, or offered something else, like “let’s just play some games together or let’s go scuba diving – don’t worry I will organise it, all I need is you to be present”. But I do expect too much, asking for an effort is like asking for a time travelling machine. Anyway, thanks for this little corner where I could say what I wanted to say without worrying too much about above factors.
I seem to talk to people but none of them understand. Im done. They Can’t help me… Let me finish this the way I inteded to. I just wish I could speak to someone who understand. Im in trouble and if someone is willing to help pls msg me on emilornal@gmail.com – im not sober when i type this up but if it helps than let it be, we aint all perfect and we ain’t trying to be. To cope is all I ask for and than I can make greatness happen.
After reading this page I have analysed the thoughts of some of you guys and some of it that you each are facing also related to me at times I feel I am the problem child everywhere I go reason being is that I do things with good intentions and always helpful and the worst feeling is whoever i try to offer my help to sometimes it’s even the people that do not like me , they show no appreciation. Secondly I used to bottle my emotions and feelings inside of me and hear to others concerns and complaints and find a solution to help them and they used to happily joyful taking my advice however when I needed someone to hear there were no one to be found. And even my close friends and people around me cannot see it pay attention to my emotions they always giving me an instruction to do what they feel is right and being harsh on those who hurt you is totally a very hard thing for me to do I have a forgiving heart and often times my mind doesn’t correspond with my heart of forgiveness. Sometimes I think I am by polo, confused, hurt,alone , turned down,mis understood, abused by words and so on . It is hard to accept n hard to live in a selfish world of unappreciation.
I have a problem of pleasing others as well to do what they ask if of me and I don’t know why I have a fear of speaking out to say what I feel and what I should be doing to make myself happy.
I am tired of being told I’m wrong or that I dont understand. Maybe truly I’m the only one that does. Maybe because I think outside the box rather than the same. I put a new eye of thougjbt:, out. I think I do…
I have a hard time relating to anyone because the people that I am in touch with are focused on money. They don’t have enough, they want more, they do weird (to me) things to get it; their whole life revolves around money. They do anything they can to make more, yet their bills aren’t paid, so they need more and when they get it, things don’t change… OMG! I just want to be at peace. I just want to work enough to pay my bills and feed my pets and the birds. I want time to sit in my yard watching nature. How can I ever relate to anyone in the Godforsaken world?
hello,
I got to this page because i was searching for why people don’t love me back, inspite of me being there for them. I love life, animals and nature and people and their complexities and their ever evolving lives, I love being around people, connecting with them and hopefully contributing to their lives in some ways. But no matter how i try( at least thats what i think) i feel very few of those people really need or care about me. That if i stop reaching out to them, our relationship will stop existing.I am fortunate to have one person who seem to genuinely care about me, but with rest of mankind i feel everybody always forgets me in every situation. That I don’t matter, even though i am always there for them. Has the whole world taken me for granted? Is this my karma? or is it because of the serious face i was born with? Or am i too too intense. I am always looking for ways to evolve. Is that my problem?
Most touching fantastic touch Ive ever seen. Count me in.
Pretty amazing to read all these comments. I’m 69 and still feeling pretty much outside. I’m kind of thinking it might just be intelligence and awareness, but there’s other stuff mixed in too. So 98th percentile in school tests does mean that you are different in at least the way that test measure. Ha ha, I suspect my genius father didn’t know enough to know that I was curious about him in ways he was not about me. It’s occurred to me that most people really can’t conceive or think much above what they have thought before. In high school 70th percentile seemed like a C grade and that was pretty obviously lame. The statistical fact is that 50% of people are below average in intelligence (as measured by tests). As an employer, I’m aware that a whole lot of people are not folks I’d want to hire. I’m kind of thinking that a lot of us have been indoctrinated with the idea that all people are equal and that it’s wrong to judge people’s intelligence, and I’m pretty sure that’s bullshit. I also know Aspie people who are very smart and don’t get why people don’t see the world the same way and that’s different. I think.
Ehh…. we’re equal in rights, but I don’t think anyone believes we’re equal in aspects like attractiveness, intelligence, athletic ability, etc.
Thanks for this. I feel the same way. I feel like and I try to be extra nice to people so they can accept me. Thing is, it doesn’t work. They hate me more. I mortify myself, and try to choose the ugliest tasks so that in that way people will not hate me and I will have more friends. I have no friends. Except my wife in whom I can fully confide and who understands me most because she is a similar person with similar problems. My mother wants me to call her. I forget and when I remember its 6 months later and I become so guilty I postpone for another month. Ok thats not fair and I should call her. But growing up I was shut down and isolated and no one ever wanted to listen to me. Now they want me to call. I want to but there is nothing to talk about. It is very awkward for me so I avoid my siblings and parents. It is very lonely and some times I’ll admit I want to check out. The pressure of expectations are too high and I can’t do it. Only way to go is zero my mind and just push forward one way or another. The pain of loneliness is like a weight on your chest. I want to cry so hard my throat hurts. When you talk to people for help, close family, they only push their own agenda and never listen to your problems. They tell you advice based on their own preconceived notions and what they want to see you become. If I asked my mother for advice she will tel me all the wrong I have done and tell me how I feel this way I because I did this and that and this and I don’t listen. It’s easier to be alone but that has it’s dark moments
My fear is rejection, if I go to a club with a group of my friends or some co-workers, we drink and laugh but when I start to dance, (I don’t dance all crazy) I will see them laughing and whispering. The next time they go out they don’t invite me, I’ll find out the next day that they went out.
I felt misunderstood for a very long time. I still feel it a little at times when I’m vulnerable (like when having an “off” day or something happens that sets me back a little). But I’ve come to realize what the article is suggesting. When I feel very isolated and misunderstood even in the presence of many people, it’s really because we’re not connecting. Once I began to understand and validate myself, heal from old wounds, and cure my anxiety/depression from within, the world around me started to change.
Although I’m surrounded by the same people, their reactions to me are different. Better. And here’s the thing, this is in large part because of my perception. I no longer think of them as The Other or The Enemy. They’re just people and they have their own perspective, beliefs, and opinions. Most importantly though, what made me so misunderstood was that they also have their own limitations (that they tried to impose on me growing up). So overall they don’t ‘align’ with me, but that’s okay. I can still connect with them, and I do. The connection is just not as deep because, as the article says, “they’re just not my people.”
We’re not on the same wavelength, but I no longer feel alone. I feel full. I’ve got my own back and I’m my own best friend. I set boundaries and whenever they try to impose their own negative beliefs on me (happens way less frequently, but happens nonetheless, people don’t change easily and only when they really want to), I don’t absorb it and tell them I don’t agree with no emotional undertones. I’ve gotten to this point because I’ve largely healed from my past, as I mentioned. I don’t take what they say personally because I know what they say is about them, not me. I don’t have to believe them. I don’t have to think that being weird is a bad thing. I don’t have to shape myself into a pretzel hoping the wrong people will accept me just so I can feel validated. We’re valid despite! And lo and behold, they’ve really eased up and pulled back on the negativity. They don’t fight and push further.
I believe that sets the stage for the rest of it. It should come together quite nicely, finding the types of people that are much better matches to me and creating a lifestyle that makes me happy. I know those people are out there. But I couldn’t find them before because I wasn’t being true to myself, I was instead succumbing to my environment and the people around me. No more.
I feel lonely too.
Because no ones try to understand me or think about situation. They say like”life goes like this” or “you should be happy that you get even little bit happiness ” or
“just let ot go” how?? How dare they say to me like that? I feel really crushed and alone. Why they even try or think?
Some of y’all are talking about friends and family. I don’t have the luxury of friends and family. The only time any body calls me or texts me on purpose is when they want or need something. After 34 years of misery in life, I have finally come to the mindset of fuck people. I do get lonely sometimes but in general, I feel so much better.
Exactly i once tried to be myself around the very closest person and showed my hidden inner parts but i regretted it alot since she kept making fun of me why do you tell us
“Be yourself ” and when we do you make fun of us why dont they understand. Life would be really comfortable if the people around us understood us i hope the world would be itself one day. Thank you christina finally i found people who understood me <3
Oh man this is what i feel , just like you typed it down … i totally feal missunderstood because people are trying to make you the way they want instead of accepting you as you truely are :/
oh well thanks , it really makes me feel stronger ;)
Guys really. This needs to stop. Please trust me i understand. I lost my job too over it. Thinking to much and over analyzing even to where believing that people can actually hear what I am thinking and I heard voices i heard my coworkers in my head clear as day. Look. Its not them its you. I know you cant its hard to admit it we are the ones actually who started the damn thought the god damn thinking. Look up Abraham Hicks and Law of Attraction. Guys I do believe y’all trust me but its our own world bros. It’s the only healthy way. Look at it like this if we had someone who thought just like us we would get mad and jealous because we are the only ones who can know what WE know. And yes yesd O not share your inner self thoughts to anyone man seriously I learned on that. It leads to manipulation hey duh not all of us are the same and THINK the Sam. Hey but guess what.. That just means WE are BETTER and MORE PERFECT then THEM. Revil in your shit cause thank god they cant be walk thinkin act nor TALK like YOU. It is all about you. Get the paradox. Guys work your shit strut your confidence and do not blame others or you’re blaming yourself what goes around comes around through thought and that’s YOUR thought NOT anyone else’s. How the hell Are they gonna know what they are in they own and got different life experiences and different feelings and shit their ain’t no room for jealousy be positive even fake it I you need and the moreyo u give in to the plus side more in Time it’ll mount all up and connect all your thoughts and you will be happy and feel better than all. It’s not like you are gonna be a bully. You’re all that bro. Do whatever you want in your imagination but careful what you give attention to via negative. In your mind be and say only good things things of what you want and it’ll come back to you. It has to its Law. Any questions?
[…] This is the older post I mention in the video: Do you ever feel like people don’t understand you? […]
Yes, for too many years now too. But I’ve come to find that it doesn’t matter in & to society when it comes to the majority of people, to the common person as to caring to or having the care to understand people in regards to T.B.I. & the different challenges we live with due to our head injury, & our natural characteristics as a person, & then in how successful & how well we have been able to become with regaining a normal decency in our every day life. Sad to say, from this subject with the post here, the last 8 maybe 10 years gradually, my life has become 85 to 90% of my day, my week & month to month I end up spending my time alone. As much as I do not want to agree with this, it is the safest & best way for me to live my life I suppose!?!! A lot of it reflects on people in society, because if I can not Believe in you, & if I can not Trust you & if I can not have Hope in you as a person, then what do I have—nothing is what I receive & end up with within my own life!
I know my IQ is high and there are more or less 5 percent who can analyze things the way I do. I’m also a highly sensitive person and I feel all stimuli stronger. These two has made it extremely hard for me to find someone who feels the same as I do or at least wants to understand my point of view. I’m so tired of being told that I overthink or that I should not feel how I’m feeling. I realized that I desperately did all I could for a long time to hide my analytical thinking and my strong emotions, but that is exhausting and usually turns out to be worse because I can’t always control my unconscious mind. Anyways, I’m still wondering if how I feel about not having found many people who understand me is valid or I’m just avoiding others because I’m afraid of them calling me different and reject me!
This is what I’ve learned from people.. A lot of people act and react in the same ways.. But then you have people like me who seem to be wired differently.. I really observe and take notes at the way people act and react.. And quite honestly I’m glad I’m wired differently bc it really amazes me how people respond to things or how they talk and interact with others.. People are way to judgemental and some of that is just what’s on the outside.. I think only God should judge us on judgement day.. I don’t care what someone does or what they have or how they look.. I only care how they treat me and their personality.. People make mistakes and most of us like me beat ourselves up enough with out anybody else’s help.. A lot of people are all about themselves and won’t do anything unless it benefits them..the worst part is I feel like it is so hard to meet friends and that people treat me the worst bc of the kind of person I am.. If I had a friend like myself or a friend who treated me how I treat them I would enjoy life.. But instead I go out of my way to help people..bum very giving I always share and spend money on my friends.. Then they try to use me or take advantage of me.. I’m not stupid I can see what they are doing.. Or I am a girl and girls are the hardest to make friends with so I’ve always been a tomboy and hung out with guys.. But now either they have a girlfriend and can’t be friends or they want to have sex with me or be friends with benefits.. After I tell them I only need a friend rn then they stop talking to me.. Life is so hard already without all these other problems.. When you observe people you tend to know when someone is lying or b’s you and that makes things even harder..there is no reason for people to hate on me I’m a very independent working woman who is loving and caring and very honest and upfront.. I go out of my way to help someone and treat people with respect.. So anyone know why people always hate on me.. I’m sick of society and being lonely is really starting to get to me..
Is it a mirror? It feels like a mirror when I look hard enough. Introspection…? I was afraid to look for most of my life…or I’ve been looking my entire life?